


Star Wars Daycare

by LadyPotato



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Humor, Kinda Fluffy, Other, really cute things all around
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-12 01:52:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7079800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyPotato/pseuds/LadyPotato
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Han and Leia combine forces to deal with their greatest foe yet... babies!!!! As in the TFA cast as smol children they must watch over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tiny Kids Should Not Be Flying

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw this post on Tumblr [http://kayla-bird.tumblr.com/post/142307866034/the-tfa-main-characters-as-toddlers-i-have-babysat] and I couldn’t help myself. (Full credit to kayla-bird for the idea, I just thought it’d be fun to expand it and put my own twist into it!) Basically it’s the TFA cast as toddlers and I thought who better to watch them than the king of sass and the galaxy’s resident badass. Enjoy! I think I’m gonna make this a series of short one shots, coz that seems to suit this more.

“YOU LET POE DO WHAT?!???!” Leia shrieked, “For the love of all that is.. How many years I’ve had to put up with this…. You don’t just.. HE IS A CHILD. STOP LAUGHING AT ME!” 

Han could only roll over laughing with a very confused young Poe dangling out of a small makeshift aircraft hovering a few feet above the ground. “But look, he’s a natural! He loves it up there!”

Leia crossed her arms and glared daggers at the man-child who dare claim he was great with kids. “He is going to fall, you idiot. What even possessed you to-“ 

Leia paused, “How did you even make that?”

“Well, if you should know, little Poe helped me out with it. Like I said, he’s a genius.”

“And by genius, you mean a carbon copy of yourself?” Leia asked, before effortlessly catching Poe who climbed out of the hovering craft in the hopes he could also fly.

Finn came running from seemingly nowhere. “Poe hurt?” He asked, alarmed.

“Poe fine.” Poe answered, grinning. “Wan take a ride wif me?” 

“Absolutely no flying in here. You guys are banned from flying. It’s too dangerous for children. Go along now. How about you both get a piggy back ride from Chewie?” Leia suggested.

“Yea alright!!” The two chimed in unison before taking off.

“And as for you,” Leia turned around, “No flying for you either.”

“What?! No fair!!” Han whined. He attempted to reason with his wife and failed multiple times, before resorting to whining.

Leia walked over to the pouting man and kissed his cheek, “You’re so dramatic.”

Craaaaaaaaaaash!!!!

“How much you wanna bet that was Rey?” Leia asked, grinning.


	2. Animal Crackers Can Fix Anything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han is left by himself to deal with Ben and his antics

Leia was away for the weekend leaving Han at the mercy of a bunch of small kids. He quickly realizes it was a mistake to spend an hour trying to convince her he would be fine when in front of him is his son, Ben, and Rey interlocked in a fight over who even knows.

Ben had a black blanket wrapped around him and was viciously swinging a stick at Rey, whose skin was peppered in small cuts. She in turn was launching legos at his face.

“Hahaha your nose is sooooooo big, it’s too easy to hit Ben-Ben!” Rey teased.

“I am NOT Ben! My name is Kylo Ren! I am the bringer of darkness!” He proclaimed, close to tears.

“That’s adorable.” Han said aloud, “Now come on, stop hitting Rey, it isn’t nice.”

“Yea, BEN, it isn’t nice!” Rey stuck her tongue out. 

Ben fell over to the floor with his arms crossed. He deliberately held his breath with his eyes filled with anger, which wasn’t at all threatening. It was too cute. Until Han remembered breathing is kinda important.

“Ohgod please stop that!” He exclaimed, trying not to panic.

Ben shook his head as his cheeks began to turn red.

“Be- Kylo come on now. Air is important. Just breathe will you?” Han asked in exasperation. He was at a total loss. How exactly does one reason with a child anyway? 

Ben shook his head again.

“OHGOD, BB-8, CALL LEIA!” Han cried out, as he picked up Ben. He really didn’t want to admit defeat, and he knew he’d hear about this later, but he was desperate! “Rey, go play with Finn and Poe, ok?”

“Kaaaayy!” Rey sing-songed.

An image of Leia appeared before Han. “What is it?” She asked, a look of amusement on her face as it was pretty obvious what had happened.

“HE WON’T BREATHE LEIA! WHAT DO I DO??!” 

“Just give him some animal crackers and he’ll be fine.”

“T-that’s it? He’ll be ok?”

“Yes Han. He’ll be fine.” She stifled a laugh. 

The call ended and BB-8 rolled away to join Rey. Han frantically searched for the jar of animal crackers.

“Yes! There! Oh Ben, I found your favorite snacks!”

Ben looked up in excitement, all thoughts of blowing up the galaxy gone. “Aminal cwackers?” He asked in a small voice, finally sounding like a child again.

“Yep!” Han said proudly, giving them to his son, who proceeded to run off with the whole jar. He let out a laugh and said, “And I was worried.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did this too much as a kid lmfaooo


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Hux argue over animal crackers

Ben wasn't very pleased with himself at all. This was the third time this day he had been placed in time out. All he did was break Rey’s Millennium Falcon replica. It was unsightly, after all! What did he do wrong? But apparently his father wasn’t very pleased.

Ben decided he did nothing wrong and took it upon himself to leave the time out chair. He hummed to himself as he made his way to the prized jar that held his favorite animal crackers in them.

“Oooooooh! I’m telling on you.” Ben heard a voice from behind him, “You should be in time out right now.”

The voice belonged to what Ben liked to refer as ‘the brat who weaseled his way into being in charge.’ In other words, it was Hux. “You can’t tell me what to do.” He replied.

“Ya huh! Lady Organa put me in charge!” Hux sneered.

“Well, _mom_ isn’t here. So, you can’t tell me what to do.” Ben said, self-satisfied.

“Go back to the chair!” Hux attempted to sound tough, but come on, how can a 5 year old sound tough? Then again, he and Hux were around the same age, but.. No, Ben thought he was leagues above this tattle tale brat.

“You’re so childish. I want snacks.” Ben stood firm on his decision. Now he was no Darth Vader, but he could use a small bit of the force at such a young age, which was good for getting small objects which were out of reach. For example, the jar of animal crackers.

“I am a child. So are you! And you’re not supposed to be using that tek..tec..tekka….?” Hux trailed off, a bit embarrassed that he still had trouble pronouncing that word.

“Technique?” Ben corrected, “Whatever.” He shoved a handful in his mouth and gave a self-satisfied smile as he walked, or rather strutted out of the room.

Hux trailed behind him attempting to grab the jar. When he did, Ben slapped his hand away and yanked the jar back. An offended Hux lunged for the jar with enough force to knock Ben and the jar over. It skittered across the floor, leaving a trail of broken animal crackers in its wake. “L-look what you diiiid.” Ben blubbered as tears started to form.

Hearing the commotion, Chewbacca emerged from the other room and let out an annoyed sigh. He picked up both of the boys and walked them over to the timeout area. He plopped each of them down in a chair and went back to clean up the mess.

“B-b-b-but I didn’t do anything!! I was good, I don’t wanna sit in the chaaaiiir.” Hux started to cry.

Ben felt a little bad. The chair was pretty uncomfortable. “At least you have company this time.”

Hux didn’t answer. He just sat there and cried as if the whole world was over. Ben mused it probably was for him since he was so prissy about his ‘perfect record.’

“Here.” Ben held out a few of the animal crackers he had managed to save.

“Th-thank you.” Hux mumbled, smiling a little bit as he recomposed himself.

“Yeah, whatever.” Ben looked away, stuffing his face with the crackers so Hux couldn’t see him smile too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's too cute thinking of the antics these two would get up to as tiny kids wrecking havoc


	4. Early morning playtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I will not have another hand cut off in this family. Come on let’s get you two cleaned up.”

Typically, Finn was one of the first ones to get up. Poe would follow suit a few minutes later and tag along with whatever Poe wanted to do that morning.

“Hay lookie. I founded this last night and thought we could play wif it today.” Poe presented an unopened lightsaber to Finn.

“Ooooh! Is that a lifesaver?” Finn asked in wonder, “Like what the grown-ups use? Cooool.”

“I wonder how you make the pretty light come out of it?” Poe fiddled around with it, looking for some button or a switch.

“Oh wait, I know!” Finn exclaimed. He hopped over to Poe and activated the ‘lifesaver.’ The pretty rush of light zoomed forward and illuminated the slightly dimmed room.

“It’s sooooooo pretty.” Both boys said in unison.

Poe began to wave it around, listening to the dull humming noise it made. “Here, you try too, Finny!!” He grinned at Finn as he handed it over.

“Tank you Poe!” He grabbed the lightsaber and swooshed around like an airplane toy. “Nyooooooom.”

_Swiiiiicck._

“Aah!” Poe hissed. The saber knicked him on the side of the arm. The heat had already cauterized it, but the dried blood was evident. Finn stared at it and let out a sob. “Poe I’m s-so sorry.” He hiccupped.

“No no, it’s ok Finn. It doesn’t even hurt anymore.” Poe tried to soothe his crying friend. It didn’t work and Finn started to wail louder.

“I fe-el t-terrible. I didn’t mean it! I didn’t mean to! Please don’t hate me.” Finn continued to cry.

Poe grabbed Finn and hugged him. “It’s ok, really. I pwomise it is.”                                  

“What is that? Who’s crying?” Leia called out from upstairs. She came flying down the stairs to find an open lightsaber, a crying Finn, and a sheepish looking Poe. “Where did that even.. Oh no. Come here you two.” She hugged the both of them before reprimanding them. “This is not a toy and it is not for children. You could get hurt a lot worse than a small cut on the arm. I will _not_ have another hand cut off in this family. Come on, let’s get you two cleaned up.”

“Still friends?” Finn asked timidly.

“Best friends!” Poe grinned.


	5. Ben The Baker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When life gives you thunderstorms, make cookies.

Rain pounded against the windows while thunder boomed overhead. Finn sat cross-legged watching the rain drops roll down the window. He wasn’t fond of the loud noises but he did his best not to look scared. After all, he didn’t want to wake up his best friend. Then again, that’d be quite hard to do.

Poe, who slept like a log, was passed out next to him, oblivious to the whole thing. Even to Rey, who kept shouting things like, “We’re under attack!” or “Take cover!” Han joined in too, tossing teddy bears at her, which she pretended were bombs. “Ah! I have been hit!” Rey fell over dramatically.

Hux, on the other hand was annoyed. He wanted a nice quiet day to practice his reading, but the noise broke his concentration. Even louder than the thunder was Ben, who was on some tangent about harnessing the power of lightning to blow something up. “Grandpa would be proud!” He exclaimed.

“That’s quite enough of that. It isn’t nice to blow things up.” Leia told him.

“But moooom, grandpa got to do it.” He whined.                 

“I’ll have none of it. Now come on, I need my special helper in the kitchen. I figured cookies would help brighten up the day.” Leia smiled.

“Cookies! Yea, ok!” Ben grinned.

She picked him up and called Chewie over to help out as well. “I wanna draw lightning bolts on my cookies!” Ben told his mom.

“How about we make a bunch of big cookies and decorate them. That way, everyone gets their own special cookie.” Leia suggested. Ben nodded his head in agreement.

_~Some time later~_

“Ok everyone, come here! We got cookies!” Leia called out.

Poe was the first to hear this, waking up in record time, and bounding to the kitchen. Everyone else followed suit, even the ‘clearly-in-a-mood-but-not-gonna-admit-it’ Hux.

Ben handed his father a cookie with the poorly drawn face of Chewie on it. He looked away, embarrassed, as he wished he could draw better. “I think it’s lovely, Ben.” Han smiled at him.

Poe’s cookie had a cookie drawn on it. He could only stare at it in amazement. “It’s like…one cookie…but like, also more than one cookie. It's a.. a... a super cookie!”

Rey received a cookie with two lightsabers crossed together. “Yeeeesssss!” she cheered, “I got the coolest cookie!”

Finn got a cookie with raindrops on it with a small rainbow at the top. “Thank you Miss Leia.” He grinned before chowing down.

Ben insisted he give Hux’s cookie to him, which had little Stormtroopers on it. “Sssshhh.” He whispered as he revealed there was another cookie under the first.

Leia finally took a bite out of her cookie. Han caught sight of it, thinking it looked suspiciously like Jabba the Hutt. “Chewie thought he was real funny.” She said, catching his gaze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know where Ben making cookies with his mom came from, but it was the thought of it was the funniest cutest thing.


	6. Baby Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hux doesn't completely hate the new baby and begrudgingly admits she's kinda cute

“What…what is _that_?” Ben asked, disgust very evident in his voice.

A laugh was heard from the corner from Hux as he tried to recompose himself. He knew that the baby would disrupt any shred of peace left.

“That’s a baby, you dork.” Rey rolled her eyes.

“This little one is called Phasma. She is still very, very young so you guys can’t play with her like you’d do among yourselves. You must be gentle.” Leia announced.

Phasma opened her eyes and immediately started to cry. “Alright, come here.” Han said soothingly, a bottle in hand. She calmed down immediately, giggling at the bottle.

“So we can’t play with her?” Finn asked, a little saddened.                                       

“I’m afraid not. She’s very fragile and needs time to grow and learn and explore before she can keep up with you two.” Leia smiled, eyeing Finn and Poe.

“I’m gonna put her down for a nap now. You guys should try and keep it down.” Han suggested.

_(Later that night…)_

A shrill scream followed by an ungodly wailing pierced through the quiet house, waking everyone up for the third time.

Surprisingly, Hux was the first to arrive. At first he glared at the screaming child, but he couldn’t hold it for long. The crying saddened him a bit. He had to admit she was kinda cute, in a weird, squishy kinda way. He inched closer to the crib when the smell hit him. “Ugh ew, you need to be changed.” Hux covered his nose.

Phasma stopped crying and looked up at Hux and smiled. Drool dribbled out as she babbled incoherently. “Please don’t do that.” He groaned.

Phasma let out an ear piercing giggle and crawled over to the side of the crib, reaching her hand through the bars.

That’s when Han came flying into the room, ready for anything. “Is she alright?”

“She went poopy.” Hux stated simply.

After Han changed her, he went to pick up Hux to take back to his room.

“No,” He protested, “I wanna stay in here.”

Han shrugged and went back to his bed, informing Leia she was on diaper duty next time.

Hux leaned against the crib and started to nod off. Phasma reached her hand between the bars and bapped him on the head. “What?” He asked, annoyed.

She kept her hand out, waving it about. Hux got the message and held her hand. He closed his eyes and was asleep in minutes.

To the gratitude of everyone in the house, Phasma stayed asleep the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, I'm gonna have a lot of fun writing about baby Phasma :D


	7. Bath Time!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the dreaded bath!!!

“For the love of all God, put your clothes on!” Han shouted at a soaking wet Poe, who adamantly refused to dry off and comply.

“No!!” He yelled back, sliding across the kitchen floor and ducking under the table.

“Finn’s all done.” Leia grinned, popping into the room. She noticed an out of breath Han and a naked Poe giggling under the table. “I thought you said you could handle things.” She remarked, glaring at Han.

“He’s so fast.” Han gasped for air. Neither noticed that Poe had taken off again.

“Just get his clothes on. I’m taking Rey up next.”

“You’re just gonna leave me all alone?”                        

“Get Chewie to help you.” Leia suggested.

“As soon as you mentioned it was time to get the kids clean, he booked it.”

“He’s just one kid. Now go, he’s gonna track water all over the place.”

………………………………………..

Back upstairs, Leia was having a difficult time cleaning Rey. She insisted it was playtime and brought all her bath toys with. _All of them._ 56 to be exact, which made the tub quite crowded. Rey ducked under the foamy soap and emerged with a large purple duck. It was her favorite.

“Becky has to get clean too!” Rey insisted.

“I promise you, Becky is clean. You did a good job. It’s your turn now.”

“But what about the rest of them? What about Mr. Bubbles or Sprinkles or-“

Leia interrupted her with, “How about we have a separate bath for them when you’re all clean?”

“Yeah, ok!” Rey agreed.

Afterwards, Leia left Rey to clean her toys and went to check up on Hux, who was in the other bathroom. He always insisted he could wash himself by himself. “You alright in there?”

Hux emerged from the bathroom, already clothed and halfway dried.

“Look at you! You’re like a miniature adult, that’s too cute.” Leia praised him.

“Stop that.” Hux looked away in embarrassment.

Leia smiled and patted him on the head. She appreciated not having to remind him it’s bath time or having to trick him to get in the tub. That reminded Leia of something.

“Have you seen Ben?” She asked.

“He is still asleep, I think. He’s not gonna be happy.”

Leia grimaced a bit remembering what happened last time. Ben had purposely clogged the bathtub so the water wouldn’t drain and then left the water running to flood the bathroom. She hoped Han had gotten Poe dressed because she was gonna need help with this one.

Back downstairs, Han was having no luck with Poe. In fact, he couldn’t even find him because Finn had suggested hide and seek. “Oh no.” He muttered. He had to think fast because sooner or later Leia would be coming back down to propose a plan on how to get Ben in the tub. Almost every time, he would throw a hissy fit or break something or just cry as loud as he could. No amounts of bribing would get him to stop. In fact, as soon as he was dried off, he would be perfectly fine. And then, a few hours later, he would come up to them and remind them they owed him ice cream for dinner, or something like that. He was absolutely devious.

“Guys, come on. It’s almost time to bathe Ben.” Han said in desperation, hoping Ben wasn’t awake and behind him.

A head poked out of the toy box and then a second one. “He’s gonna not be happy.” Finn said.

“Exactly, which means we are gonna need all the help we can get. So please, would ya put some clothes on?”

“Okokok.” Poe agreed, stepping out of the toy box.

Once everyone else was all settled, a battle plan could be made. Han and Leia discussed different tactics while the others sat around ready to help.

“Psssst. Why does Ben hate the bath so much? Foam is a lotta fun to play with.” Rey whispered.

“Maybe he doesn’t like people seeing his butt.” Poe giggled.

“We should tell him that everyone has a butt so he’ll feel better.” Finn suggested.

“We could put extra foam in the tub!” Rey grinned.

While everyone discussed different ideas, no one noticed that Hux had taken off. He made his way up to Ben’s room and saw that Ben was awake and looking absolutely mortified in his bed.

“So they sent you up here to get me?” Ben was close to crying.

“No. Everyone is downstairs talking about it.”

“I don’t want to go in the tub.” Ben whimpered.

“How come?”

“Because.” Was his clever response.

“Do you not like the foam?” Hux asked.

“No, it smells nice.”

“Is the water too hot?”

“No.”

“Are you embarrassed?”

“No.”

“Then what is it?” Hux asked, a little annoyed.

“I’m scared.” Ben whispered.

“Of what?” Hux rolled his eyes.

Ben covered himself completely with the blanket and refused to answer. Hux sat on the edge of the bed and asked, “Do you think sharks are gonna appear at the bottom of the tub? I used to think that..” Hux hung his head in shame.

Ben poked his head out from the blanket cocoon and let out an incredulous “Really?!”

“I grew out of it!” Hux said defensively.

“I…always think I’m gonna get sucked down the drain when the water goes down…” Ben admitted.

Hux stifled a laugh and said, “But you’re too big for that.”

“But sharks are _totally_ gonna appear from nowhere.”

“Shut up,” Hux pouted before adding, “Let’s go now. I promise you won’t go down the drain. I’ll even stay in there with you.”

“O-ok. But only if you stay.” Ben agreed.

About 20 minutes later, Hux and Ben went downstairs all clean and not swallowed up by the drain. Everyone else was still arguing over how to get Ben into the tub.

“Do they do this every time?” Ben asked in disbelief.

“You do make everything difficult.”

Han finally looked up and saw what appeared to be a half dried Ben. “No way.” He said, signaling his wife to look.

“He took a bath,” Hux announced, “So can we have lunch now?”

“Uh, yeah, ok.”                                                                                                          

“Thank you.” Ben mumbled under the confused statements everyone was making.

“Can we eat now?” he asked, smiling a little, earning a laugh from everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a bit longer than usual but I'm quite proud of it and I hope you all enjoyed it!


	8. Pokémon Go Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids run around outside with a frantic C-3PO in charge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not even sorry lmfaooooo. But anyway this is a short little blurb that came to me. I'll get back on schedule eventually though :D

“That Vaporeon was _right_ there! Pay attention next time!” Ben shouted.

“It’s not my fault it ran off! You were the one blocking my view!” Rey shot back.

“Children, please. It’ll come back. Don’t argue.” A desperate C-3PO tried to quell the situation. Unfortunately, he was doing a poor job as Ben and Rey had been arguing since they left the house and Finn and Poe ran off in pursuit of a Pikachu. “Oh, dear..” Han and Leia wanted no part of this and suggested that C-3PO take the kids out to the park to expel their energy.

Hux was off to the side, sitting in the shade as he calmly battled a gym. “Yes! This gym now belongs to Team Valor!” He proclaimed joyfully.

“Team Instinct is gonna take you down!” Rey called out in the midst of arguing with Ben, who was frantically running in large circles trying to find the Vaporeon.

“Team Mystic! Team Mystic! Team Mystic!” Finn and Poe chanted, running back to the rest of the group.

“We caught the Pikachu!” Finn grinned, trying to catch his breath.                                        

“And a snazzy new Vulpix!” Poe added.

“NOBODY MOVE A MUSCLE!” Rey suddenly shrieked, her eyes glued to the screen. She squinted her eyes in a careful concentration as a shaky finger flicked upward on the screen. “YES!” She squealed with joy, “It was a Charizard! I got a Charizard!!! Now I’m gonna take your gym down, Hux, so get ready!”

“Yeah, whatever.” Hux rolled his eyes. He returned his gaze back to his phone and smirked at the screen. On it was a newly captured Vaporeon. “Water trumps fire.” He said quietly to himself.

“How about we take a break and go get some ice cream?” C-3PO suggested.

“Yeah, they should add the ice cream Pokémon to this app. It’s soooo cute.” Finn smiled, not paying attention.

“IS THAT MY VAPOREON?!” Rey yelled out in the middle of the gym battle.

Hux didn’t answer and continued attacking, before finally winning. “Another victory for Team Valor!”

“Oh, dear.” The droid sighed. This wasn’t going to be easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #TeamMystic  
> Also did anyone go to Warped?

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a whole series :D


End file.
